« December 2006 | Main | February 2007 »
January 31, 2007
how about we ban spanking, incandescent lightbulbs AND liberal assemblymen?
Douchebag California Assemblyman Lloyd Levine, wants us all to be FORCED to use fluorescent light bulbs. As a photographer who prefers old-school light bulbs for editorial shots, let me tell you something...his oh-so-clever bill is called the "How Many Legislators Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb Act" but might be more aptly titled the "How Many Liberals Does it Take to Destroy a Country Act".
Just when I think liberals couldn't get any more ridiculous, they seek to destroy my small business livelihood. By 2012 no less!
MORE: I can imagine it now....coaching a model..."pretend you are being bathed in pleasant old time 2007, gentle light, not this harsh fluorescent light which accentuates your cellulite and wrinkles". There is digital correction after all, unfortunately there is not much we can do digitally to correct the libtards.
Posted by Moxie at 3:55 AM | Comments (18)
January 29, 2007
how can one resist
the Carnival of Cats?
Even bird owner Steve H got involved as a photographic subject.
Posted by Moxie at 1:42 AM | Comments (1)
January 28, 2007
skate break
You gotta love MSNBC, home base of Keith Olbermann's animal penis bone collection (he keeps them in his locker). If you don't get that, scour Esquire's current print edition. MSNBC, a big important company who employs many who could ostensibly be considered real writers, if crappy writing counts as real writing, still spews Associated Press drivel hours after the fact......
"Kimmie Meissner has a national title, and that’s all anybody needs to know.Never mind that the world champion finished third in the free skate, and only won because Emily Hughes toppled over on a jump. Or that if Michelle Kwan were here, she’d likely have a 10th title."
Yeah if Michelle Kwan weren't 100 years old and stiffer than Bill Clinton's manhood around a young intern, she'd win. Absolutely, and also, if Jesus were a woman and still walking the earth, Kimmie Meissner wouldn't have won. I love this kind of thinking. It's spot on libthink.
Okay, so I only posted this as an excuse to mention that Keith Olbermann collects penis bones. But Kimmie Meissner STILL would have won had slightly more than half of America not voted for Bush in 2004.
Posted by Moxie at 2:57 AM | Comments (5)
January 27, 2007
in it to win it
Okay, so the thick ankled Hildebeast is saying "in to win" but that is dangerously close to a phrase used by horny, doggish men -- "in it to win it" -- whose goals are to win entry into the skirts and thighs of young women across America.
Is she hoping to put Bill back in the White House, so he once again has access to young interns? The fact that she wouldn't want to fulfill her wifely duties comes as no surprise.
While a student at Cornell, one of my professors who was Hillary's friend and claimed to be present at the inaugural ball, got gossipy during office hours and explained how she was shocked when Hillary eventually started to date a man (if you can call Bill that). It had been an all female dating scene prior. It wasn't ill will, I mean -- what would a nice conservative girl like me be doing at a liberal Ivy League University?
Hopefully, one of the Republican candidates won't pull a John Kerry and point out her lesbianism. Repeatedly.
Because we wouldn't want to expose the liberal's hypocrisy on the homosexual issue, now would we?
UPDATE: Wouldn't it be fun to see our first "gentleman" (surely the first time that word has been used in vague reference to Bill Clinton) planning the holiday theme for the White House?
This year on the trees, we feature likenesses of females I have banged (or raped) since being married. Might need a few more trees, this time around.
Posted by Moxie at 3:31 PM | Comments (8)
January 25, 2007
Duncan Hunter
Oh god...
This is the best news I've heard all week.
He is a candidate!
Read his interview with John Hawkins. And then try NOT to send him money. This guy screams Reagan all over the place.
Now, I will be able to sleep tonight. But tomorrow, they better have blog buttons and code available.
UPDATE:
Here is some group right wing thinking, and I have to say I am surprised! Newt???
Posted by Moxie at 6:15 PM | Comments (11)
damn snoops
Someone located the un-edited version of my photo at the range. In order to prevent others from making a profit from this sort of thing, I am forced to post it myself.
I guess this might be a photoshop contest, for the mentally deranged (like me). As long as public figures aren't involved (I love the FBI, but not on my front doorstep), feel free to submit some options. I'll post the 5 best next week. And then my 10 readers can vote for a winner.
A prize will be determined. But I promise it won't be a talking Moxie doll.
----
1st entry:
from Aaron.
2nd entry:
from Laurence.
Posted by Moxie at 5:21 PM | Comments (20)
January 24, 2007
kitty canoodling
After a long day of throwing rocks at homeless intellectuals, Steve H. relaxes with a beer and enjoys his new feline girlfriend.
Posted by Moxie at 9:18 PM | Comments (13)
January 23, 2007
intellectual podcast
If I have to be honest, you know, truth in advertising....it's a hog and a mox....not a dick in a box. Ignore the PubeCast rumors....the paparazzi and tabloids are wrong.
Posted by Moxie at 11:30 PM | Comments (8)
Pajama pickle
Despite being a member of Pajamas Media, Laurence is still the same indecent human being and prolific content-generator, unlike PJM's delusional and accidental Verne Troyer CEO.
Lair is no match for Steve's brilliant Hog On Ice tales, but he's been tussling with other storytellers at Pickle Tales.. .and he looks like he's going to make the Finals! Check it out, or die by my accurate shot.
Posted by Moxie at 4:02 PM | Comments (1)
January 22, 2007
home on the range
Steve H., lady-killer.
Posted by Moxie at 9:14 PM | Comments (16)
January 21, 2007
belated b-day libations
Thanks to Steve H, Aaron and Shannon (who wasn't there, but gave me the awesome Moxie sign shown in the photo). Additional thanks to all the other folks who came by to help us get drunk, eat too much and stay up late! The rest of those people don't read my blog, and hence were a bit put-off by a revelation of sexual fantasies about Dick Cheney ('s supple backside). Anyway, I digress...
While what happens at the Moxtopia compound...happens at the Moxtopia compound...I will most likely write more after some sleep, or at least post some better photos. Pictures of Steve H. canoodling with a cat forthcoming.
Posted by Moxie at 4:43 AM | Comments (8)
January 18, 2007
Blogal warming
I'm been getting a HUGE amount of hits thanks to some idiotic commenter who called Barrack Hussein Obama bin ladin, Michael Richard's favorite "n" word.
While I am shocked at the quantity of people searching for "obama N----r" I am even more surprised at how lax I have been in the past about deleting comments. I forget about my blog and just assume people are behaving.
Anyway, I'll miss the traffic (not really, at all) but I have to delete that crap from my blog. I like to remain fairly family friendly, aside from my describing my nightly trysts with my life size Dick Cheney doll.
Posted by Moxie at 1:15 AM | Comments (7)
January 17, 2007
Surviving at Ralph's
Earlier this evening I spotted the Survivor Cook Islands winner Yul Kwon shopping at Ralph's -- to refresh your memory he's "tall, athletic, [and] staggeringly handsome". All true -- except he was about my height and I'm 5'8 in shoes. I know this because we were standing next to each other in the check out line.
His half-pint sized Asian girlfriend was clinging to him for warmth and sustenance and barely noticed that he generously offered to pay for the small basket of groceries. Okay, so he didn't say that. But it would have been more interesting:
Yul: NO, no, no -- there is no way I am letting YOU pay 4 dollars for a bottle of Voss!
Her: Don't waste your winnings on account of my expensive taste in bottled water, take care of your parents. Think of your family, Yul! Please.
Now that I've written out my lame little fantasy (Ralph's doesn't even sell Voss) I can say with great certainty that the grand dame Yuless was a tad bit clingy. You know how terribly dangerous it is in Ralph's at 3rd and LaBrea. With the likes of me there, especially.
Anyway...aside from the fact that he appeared much taller on teevee -- I don't think I am somehow mistaken in my reality teevee celebrity spotting. Yul himself once said, "as an Asian-American male growing up, I didn't see a lot of people who looked like myself" so if I'm wrong, Yul is wrong too. He has a twin.
Posted by Moxie at 11:37 PM | Comments (3)
January 12, 2007
Breaking news
From the hard-headed Barcelona Bureau of Mox-jammies Media.
"Right wing wacko gets smacked on head with 100 lb television (during the O'Reilly Factor) on her 35th birthday."
This is about a friend, of course. NOT ME.
But how long should this person, (who again, is not me) sit around with ice on her ripe forehead goose-egg? And how long before she can sleep without worrying about waking up only to be greeted by Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford and Jesus?
UPDATE: My friend made it through the night, though her head hurts a lot. At least, that is what she tells me.
Posted by Moxie at 9:07 PM | Comments (20)
January 11, 2007
Pinko Irish
They want a free share of your booze.
This is not the entry I hoped to share first. But believe it or not, I have a life outside of providing free entertainment for the likes of you.
My flight back to LA was delayed, so I did what any good conservative would do -- I invited the person sitting nearby to have a drink with me.
She and I went over to have a drink during the 45 minutes we suddenly had free and were quickly surrounded by a bunch of Irishmen. Imagine that. Irish men at an airport bar. Truly bizarre.
So my pal was a lot like me, works for herself and also an only child. We connected immediately with the how-to-deal-with-your mother talk. She also happened to be a mother of two young ones and about my age. And she encouraged me in my desire to give birth to little right wing satans.
Attention Barack Hussein Osama...my friend was also black. Don't count on her vote. In 2007, I have become the ultimate conservative magnet. More on this in a later post. But it's lovely to finally attract people who think like I do, maybe it's my new shade of lipstick or the tiny Dick Cheney figurine I wear on my lapel. Perhaps instead of the vast right wing conspiracy, it should be called the vast right wing closet. It is both vast and deep. And we are all packing heat.
But back to the future, maybe seconds after we sat down, my friend and I were both accosted by a group of Irishmen. The one that grabbed my ear happened to brag about how he loves this country, great I think...and then he volunteers an embarrassing fact. An admission not unlike genital warts, he admits he is a communist and is fond of libtards.
I told him that made me uncomfortable, but before I could get that sentence out of my mouth he started bad mouthing my President, the man I voted for and to this day support.
Taking a page from the Bonaduce playbook, I told him exactly what I thought about him. And his answer was to call me stupid. I love the libshit talking points, "Anyone who doesn't agree with you is STUPID...tell them this and you will win any debate, as long as CNN, MSNBC or NPR covers it."
Sadly, when me and my new found gal pal left to catch our flight I caught his dull communal glass eye...
I said genuinely, have a safe flight.
He said, "Oh I WILL. But for you....I hope you don't"
and I walked away. But his wish didn't come true. I'm here back in LA...and alive for now.
Posted by Moxie at 3:58 AM | Comments (12)
January 10, 2007
Did you miss me?
...I've been in NYC. But I'm back now. Sort of.
And if you need evidence of what a great time I've had...I can only say I lugged my pro photo gear to the east coast and didn't use it at all.
I do have a great tale or two to share about why I spent most of my nights at the W hotel, rather than at my parent's place. If all goes well, I'll have that posted manana.
But please, do feel free to fawn over my absence in the meanwhile. I've missed all of you too.
Posted by Moxie at 1:11 AM | Comments (21)
January 2, 2007
this alone
may be enough reason for me to reconsider my "discomfort" with capital punishment:
" The U.N. has an official stance opposing capital punishment "
Posted by Moxie at 2:56 PM | Comments (6)
